My husband is awesome — he just is. I never really write about him much because he doesn't know I keep this journal. And he certainly doesn’t know...about some of the things I do. They would probably crush him. I step out more than I should but we have a “don't ask, don't tell” policy and we swing within rules. I actually think those rules suck but it’s better than not swinging at all, right?My guy is not a raging stud. Five foot six with a beer gut, even though he doesn’t drink and goes to the. .. perhaps for the wrong initial reasons, we’re here now at maybe just the right place! This is the first time since we returned here ... home, that I’ve really felt hope! But I feel dread here too, and I can’t help but tremble at Mother’s call. There are prices to be paid for directly speaking to her and so much here has already gone terribly wrong, the mistakes that Lydia ... and myself have made, that the retribution, or call it more properly her judgement upon us, and perhaps the entire. More

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